That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
