I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize