put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
