some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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