hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
