I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
