Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize