i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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