margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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