So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
i think im in europe. pls send help
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
