a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
you win again, gameday.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I need to calm my uterus...
Randomize
