I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Randomize
