I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
