Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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