Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize