Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
