The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I've blown a few things in my day
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
jump out the window naked night went bad
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
