I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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