Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize