He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
