sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
