I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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