Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Randomize
