Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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