i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
