I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Randomize
