oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
