we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
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