Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
