Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
