You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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