What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
