Already got asked if we're dating
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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