Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
