xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
