I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
