Christians are straight up FREAKS
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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