I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Help. Why am I so naked?
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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