My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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