i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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