I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
