I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
