i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
and she was petting her beer can
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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