i need an iv and a liver transplant
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
