We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
