the new term for farting is butt boxing.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
