Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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