I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
