Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Randomize
