I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
