all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
