then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
