Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Randomize
