come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
