we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
