I queefed so loud it echoed.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
