You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
