I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
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