i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
