speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
