Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
