Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
