woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
This is classic penis vs brain.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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