I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
