You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
