Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
