I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
