did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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