It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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