Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
he puts the penis in happiness.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
