Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
