She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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