Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Even my vagina gasped.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
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