So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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