I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize