This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
