Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
