just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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