oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
