That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
