I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Randomize
